every day seems to get harder and harder it getting more difficult for me to admit you are gone , and that i can not see you again memories dont seem enough . The fact that life still keeps going on and that there is no concillation that your gone . To much spare time on my hands only makes it harder for me as memories seem to be every were thinking that this should never of happened and the only but ifs keep coming back to me.If i could of done any thing different believe me i would.The only thing is now you are in no more pain , but believe my little baby boy this pain i am feeling will never go away.I love you more then words can say and wish i was there taking care of you , but there is enough pain already.love you ryan keep a space for me will be there sooner or later and then we will never be parted again.....